you will never die

by nine of swords

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1.
01:23
2.
01:42
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02:55
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01:15
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00:53
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01:21
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00:57
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01:45

about

rg - vocals
jt - bass/electronics
cp - guitar
tjs - drums/electronics

credits

released November 24, 2016

recorded/mixed by mike dvorscak in a cavern
mastered by mike ditirio
"deku's dirge" arranged and performed by mark o'brien

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nine of swords New York, New York

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Track Name: two step ii
you'll recognize me only after i'm gone. your supposed confusion yields a drawn out yawn. there is no excuse, this is fucking abuse. you get a pat on the back for words others have used. adamant distancing, or civility passively. any option i pick is considered insanity. there is no excuse, this is fucking abuse. you get a pat on the back for words others have used, there's no mystery to you. you're boring! you're boring! theres nothing to you! i shed my insides all week, my hide sees through you. you're boring, you're boring, you're boring, i'm bored.
Track Name: composition #2
the sky is littered with helicopters, he never really was much of a talker but he was a sharp shooter, we couldn't have prevented this. my eyes for miles only see high-rises, its hard to believe tomorrow when you can't see the sunrise, just increased illusions of security. do you feel safe right now? when evil keeps repeating, thats called insanity. this calls for an interruption. you can keep your 20,000 sq. feet of bullshit, we never needed it. how could anybody be so selfish? when you act with your own interests in mind, you leave everyone behind. turn around, you've been alone the entire time.
Track Name: snow iii
no matter the season, my room is always cold. you want me today but tomorrow i'm old. with weird palms you try to shape what i know. my heart's not a stone it is not yours to throw. when he laid me down, there was snow on the ground and a firefly glow in my toes, it was september, december, january, one of those months. you can apply significance but when you just tack it on like that, you forget your interest, and instead checklists become the priority like extra underwear in january or one of those months. hold it close, now give it up. i hide under the blankets, they know where i am. they tell me theres nothing left of me but i know who i am. they will tell you again and again that your body's been broken never be the same but you'll wake up the next day skin hugging your limbs, missing a sock, you'll be okay. when i awoke, i awoke to soft patterns of light on the walls. in feburary. a milky spring afternoon. winter forever. it was each of those times. there is always a reminder, like fibers tugged from a sweater. but i need to remember that i can always do better.
Track Name: wild strawberries
weeknight, you leave me on the fence. no harm done if you tell me no offense. weekday, it always is the same. who am i to anticipate change? meet for coffee, meet for caramels. i'm not a person, don't wish me well. i miss your call, its cuz my phone is old. the floor is warm, my feet are cold. when you insist on speaking on my behalf, what am i supposed to say? how was your day? why are we here? oh my god, you're funny. you ask what do i wanna be when i grow up well i have time to decide but i know that i don't wanna be hanging out with guys who make me wanna throw up. doesn't matter if you didn't mean it, no one gets a gold star for giving a shit.
Track Name: goner
even if we find ourselves running at the same speed and we run out of breath simultaneously and we look both ways when we cross the street and our knees make contact with the same pavement, my wounds will heal differently. i turn in my sleep and they open up again and theres blood all around me. you can't realize, admit it. i just need you to lend an ear i don't need to hear you know how i feel but can you back it up if i spontaneously show interest in your story? its ok, its all right, take it easy babe this keeps me up all night.
Track Name: janet katsnelson
everyday i check my horoscope on the net and it tells me to be patient it reminds me that i'm kind. but everyone around me keeps fucking up. is it my job to correct them or do i keep my mouth shut? i tuck my hair behind my ears, you smoke your cig i have no fear. today mercury may be in retrograde but tomorrow, you'll pay. hey girl, i got your fucking back. they tell you how to act, they're tryina steer you off track. i'm told that i work real hard but it always feels like i'm back at the start. theres hardly comfort to be found in incremental change. i can get shit done but you're in my way. i tuck my hair behind my ears, you smoke your cig i have no fear. today mercury may be in retrograde but tomorrow, you'll pay. hey girl, i got your fucking back. they tell you how to act, they're tryina steer you off track. no matter where they drag you, i will be right behind you.
Track Name: the horse with no name
my arms and legs have grown to big for me to stay in this bed so i fold myself up, hold myself close, i'm the one i trust the most. you look at me and you see a guy. i wouldn't be ashamed if i was allowed to cry. you impose your ideals with no regard for me. fuck your violent masculinity. your hands have only destroyed so mine will only create. he tries on a yellow dress in his parent's white basement. why is this not considered strength? if you feel shame it should be for your hate.
Track Name: the third hand
four other women sit with me in this room. one is pregnant and hungry and one is old. i thought i couldn't communicate with the other two, but our eyes meet and i know we want to leave. you look my way and my body already feels like a burden. fidgety fingers wrap around my arm. i'm in better hands when i touch myself. when you say i should just relax and thats a serious suggestion, its clear you haven't considered unfamiliar tongues, your own shortcomings, men, unofficial consent. you look my way and my body already feels like a burden. you examine me hastily cuz i'm too young to be worth any time.
Track Name: buoy
theres more to life than being thin and american. if i want to i'll stock up on snacks, share none with you. if you find me disgusting, some kind of mistake, then wouldn't you say its time i got my own space? there is a moat around my heart and you're not amphibious. my career is my choice it isn't any of your business.
Track Name: daylight
sometimes you need to know someone really well to know that you don't want them around. you want me to be a convenience for you but i would never. you can't be in control forever. sometimes you need to wait for daylight to break before you truly see your worth. i wish i didn't have to know you so well to know i don't want you around.